51:faxlore

The word faxlore has not yet appeared in the Oxford English dictionary but it is in Wikipedia (and therefore must be true?? :) ) as a kind of folklore sent by fax (and by extension, by email).
Folklore is the traditional beliefs, customs and stories of a community passed down through the generations.
I thought today I would counter yesterday's slight bias against Russia and Russians by 'poking fun' at lots of other nationalities - including mine.
Here then are a couple of items of 'faxlore' 

1.   Heaven is where the police are British, the lovers French, the mechanics German, the chefs Italian, and it is all organized by the Swiss.

Hell is where the chefs are British, the mechanics French, the lovers Swiss, the police German, and it is all organized by the Italians.

2.   The following is in what we call "mock German"

Achtung! Alles turisten und nonteknischen lookenpeepers!

Das maschine-kontrol ist nicht für der gefingerpoken und mittengraben! Oderwise ist easy to schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und poppencorken mit spitzensparksen.

Der maschine ist diggen bei experten only!

Ist nicht für gewerken bei dummkopfen. Der rubbernecken sightseeren keepen das cottonpicken händer in das pockets.

Zo relaxen und watschen der blinkenlights.

3.  Can any of my students tell me the difference between "Winter draws on" and "Winter drawers on"?  A prize for the first correct answer (from one of my students).

A photo to finish (A photo finish?) I bought a set of matryoshka dolls earlier this year hoping to sell them in UK. So far, no takers. After some research I discovered that eBay has hundreds of matryoshki on offer.